For the moment, leave all romantic notions at the door and – needless to say – we do not believe in fate, either. Let us consider finding romantic love as a matching problem. In realistic terms considering the social environment, because it matters. A lot. This is not the same as the fantastic xkcd “Soul […]
~ read more ~Posts in category Relationships
Why we cheat
There are at least a million articles both on- and offline trying to explain why cheating happens constantly, even though the vast majority of us agree that it is bad. Most of the explanations are complex and unconvincing. And then comes this gem of an article, and explains the phenomenon in a simple, no-nonsense, straighforward […]
~ read more ~Friendship, Romance and Sex
Two movies are tackling the topic of (casual) sex, romance and friendship right now, and both don’t do it justice. One is the Hollywood “Friends with Benefits” which, despite the title, is very little about sex between friends and a lot about the only Hollywood-approved kind of relationship – romantic love and exclusive sex. The […]
~ read more ~Borderline Survival Afterword
Several months ago, I wrote a post titled Borderline Partners’ Survival Guide. I’ve not written much about relationships and borderline for a long time now, because I needed the time for the step named “put yourself together again” in that post. But it’s time to re-visit the article and add a few things, especially for […]
~ read more ~A Different View on Monogamy
After about two months, I have come to what may be the closure of one of the original main themes of this blog. My original takes on relationships and the question of monogamy vs. polygamy can be found in the relationship category. But it has always been my goal to understand both sides, and I […]
~ read more ~Emotional Leadership
There is much similarity between this talk by Tony Robbins that I took the post title from and my earlier posting on Steve’s 10 Steps. Priya Sher has summed up Robbins’ the main points well, there are three quotes that I’d like to add: If you’re not doing it, then you don’t know […]
~ read more ~Borderline Partners’ Survival Guide
A while ago, I have come out of a relationship with a women with borderline personality disorder. It was both the most intense relationship and the most damaging breakup of my life, and while there is a vast amount of material on the Internet for partners of borderliners, much of it is walls of text. […]
~ read more ~Draft Theory on Poly vs. Mono Brains
This is a draft, a rough thought, on what makes the difference between monogamous and polygamous people. Any feedback much appreciated. First, what you need to know to follow this thought is Helen Fisher’s research on how love works, biochemically. If you’ve not yet watched her talk: Or read her book , do either of […]
~ read more ~Trust and Character
As I promised in an older article, I am currently reading The Science of Trust. Do you know the feeling when you are reading something and realize they are up to something? That is what I started to get around page 20 or so. John Gottmann’s book has one thing that sets it apart from […]
~ read more ~Forbidding Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Psychology Today
In an article on his blog, Piercarlo Valdesolo, one of the authors of the book “Out of Character”, which I’ve quoted before, writes about an interesting experiment: Forbidding Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Psychology Today The essence of which is that jealous behaviour and putting limits on your partner will only make him (or […]
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